Songwriting Sessions: Songwriting in action (lyrics first!)

(Part 2 of this series can be found here)

I've talked a little about songwriting over the weeks and given some advice on how to write. Why not lead by example?

This post (and other posts in this series, as I expect it won't end with one) will show you how I go through the motions of writing a song. As I've mentioned elsewhere, I don't always write the lyrics first. Later on I'll have a series where I write a song starting with the music, but I figured I'd start with lyrics this time around.

Okay, so what to write about? I was initially tempted to write about some other aspect of songwriting, because, to be perfectly honest, I don't really have a great idea for a song. But as a firm believer that you should keep writing anyway, today I'm going to do just that.

I'm going to write a song about war. The lyrics might change in the future, but here you can have a first draft of what comes to my mind as I'm writing it.

Blood in the fields (first draft)

Chorus:
There's blood in the fields, nobody is clean
They've all been fed to the killing machine
The people in charge sit so snug in their chairs
While the dead in the fields rot without care

Verse:
Nobody wants this but somehow we're here
In a world where the chief motivation is fear
We're living in houses with blankets for ceilings
And everyone's scared, everyone's scared

Chorus:
There's blood in the fields, nobody's alive
They've all been shot down, nobody survived
The people who ordered this just got a raise
And their retirement will take them someplace far away

Verse:
They won't see the fields or their scarlet red drink
But one day they might, on vacation, stop and think
About those young men they sent to their early graves
But they'll soon forget, on the beach watching waves

Chorus:

There's blood in the fields, nobody is clean
They've all been fed to the killing machine
The people in charge sit so snug in their chars
While the dead in the fields, they still rot without care.

First impressions of a first draft

Well, let me start by saying that I generally never let anyone read the lyrics to any of my songs until they are (more-or-less) completely finished. So I hope you feel privileged!

Let me finish by saying that, while I don't think these lyrics are terrible, there are definitely problems with them. I like the rhyming scheme but need to re-work the end of the first and last chorus - that "care" at the end seems like the right word, but in the wrong sentence. There are other small nit-picks that I'd like to make, but I'll save them for next time.

In the coming weeks, you can watch me tool with this song, and you can watch it evolve. I've never done this before in front of an audience, so this should be exciting!